Once upon a December

In nineteen hundred and eighty one

At Christmas time, with Mrs. Dunn

And two unruly cats out for a ride

we headed west on 401

And branched off to a northern run

Just me, myself, and Deb (my pregnant bride)

In two more months, she would be due

And the cat would have its kittens too

and I would be beside myself with glee

But we were in a nasty stew

A snowstorm on the avenue

It slowed us down, and I could hardly see

Two hundred miles we had to go

On Christmas Eve, through blinding snow

To Mom and Dad’s, upon a northern bay

The wind was blowing to and fro

The road, it was a horror show

I couldn’t tell which was the proper way

Then all at once we took the ditch

Our Christmas plans had met a hitch

The wife and I (and cats) were all okay

then, someone stopped ( his name was Mitch)

And said Ain’t that a son of a bitch

And helped us back upon our merry way

He towed us with a cable hook

A little time was all it took

To get us once again upon our tour

Then gave us both a funny look

And said “A room, you’d better book

They’re closing up the highway now for sure”

Now, further up the road a way

We found a place where we could stay

And had to wake the landlord from his bed

The room was cold, but anyway

We slept our Christmas Eve away

And woke at dawn, with shadowings of dread

Another foot of snow there was

‘Twas quite enough to give us pause

I shoveled just enough to let us pass

The cats were busy cleaning claws

The wife was all upset because

We’d let ourselves run almost out of gas

This Christmas morn, the roads were clear

The storm had stopped, the sun was here

We woke the sleepy landlord once again

He had some gas, among his gear

He filled us up, said “Never fear-

You’ll reach your Mom and Daddy’s place by ten”

And so, we reached the northern bay

And spent a cheery Christmas Day

The memories would stay with us a while

We watched their little grandkids play

With starry eyes, and I would say

This year, we had a lot to make us smile.

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