In nineteen hundred and eighty one
At Christmas time, with Mrs. Dunn
And two unruly cats out for a ride
we headed west on 401
And branched off to a northern run
Just me, myself, and Deb (my pregnant bride)
In two more months, she would be due
And the cat would have its kittens too
and I would be beside myself with glee
But we were in a nasty stew
A snowstorm on the avenue
It slowed us down, and I could hardly see
Two hundred miles we had to go
On Christmas Eve, through blinding snow
To Mom and Dad’s, upon a northern bay
The wind was blowing to and fro
The road, it was a horror show
I couldn’t tell which was the proper way
Then all at once we took the ditch
Our Christmas plans had met a hitch
The wife and I (and cats) were all okay
then, someone stopped ( his name was Mitch)
And said Ain’t that a son of a bitch
And helped us back upon our merry way
He towed us with a cable hook
A little time was all it took
To get us once again upon our tour
Then gave us both a funny look
And said “A room, you’d better book
They’re closing up the highway now for sure”
Now, further up the road a way
We found a place where we could stay
And had to wake the landlord from his bed
The room was cold, but anyway
We slept our Christmas Eve away
And woke at dawn, with shadowings of dread
Another foot of snow there was
‘Twas quite enough to give us pause
I shoveled just enough to let us pass
The cats were busy cleaning claws
The wife was all upset because
We’d let ourselves run almost out of gas
This Christmas morn, the roads were clear
The storm had stopped, the sun was here
We woke the sleepy landlord once again
He had some gas, among his gear
He filled us up, said “Never fear-
You’ll reach your Mom and Daddy’s place by ten”
And so, we reached the northern bay
And spent a cheery Christmas Day
The memories would stay with us a while
We watched their little grandkids play
With starry eyes, and I would say
This year, we had a lot to make us smile.
Aremyfeetofftheground 