I wonder if you have ever seen those freaky pictures of cats, painted by an artist who was given LSD over a period of time. He was a talented painter￼, and the paintings started out to be beautiful pictures of a cat. As time went along, they grew a little more bizarre. They were still recognizable for what they were, but more abstract and stylized. Eventually, they became unrecognizable, even though he was given the same cat to paint. They appeared to show spiritual renderings, seen through the eyes of this man whose consciousness had been altered by the doses of the drug he was receiving.
For reasons I cannot pin down, the gradual metamorphosis of these paintings began to disturb me. In my mind, they represented a descent into insanity.
Now, I am not so sure.￼
Was this man simply trying to render the pure spirit, essence, and wholeness￼ of What was before him, seen through an altered consciousness?
i think on this quite a bit now because, as i age, my own consciousness is changing. Dreams are more strange, and so is waking life. Perceived reality is at times different, as if I am existing one or two dimensions removed. Certain things fade while others come to the fore, as if through a kind of winnowing. I feel I am being shown things.
Others find it harder to relate to me, and I to them. Just so you know, I have had my head examined, both physically and metaphorically, and they have found nothing.
So i must conclude that, if this the beginnings of senility, then it holds a certain clarity of mind on things that were once thought to be unimportant or unfathomable, and a letting go of things not sanguine to the new Now.
You may put this down to the midnight musings of an old man. One who is trying to do his own paintings of a certain landscape, and one who has felt he is on a pathway, at the end of which lies something we all yearn to see.