you do not understand
do you even want to?
when you look at me
with derision in your glance
and say get off that shit
snap out of it
what is wrong with you
and I snap, but not out of it
and say thank you for your support
now fuck off
a terrible terrible thing to say
then I go to bed
and have black dreams
and what is worse I am not sorry
we do not talk for days
I tell you I am cold turkey now
by way of a half assed apology or excuse
your look says are you looking for sympathy?
I tell you I have been clean for two months now
struggling to be strong
but some nights I need a little help
you find my white paper bag
with the drugstore sleep aids in it
and say I thought you were off that shit
and I say I am, this is only kids stuff
and I don’t take it every night
you say maybe if you didn’t take that damn tablet to bed
and turn off your light at a reasonable hour
it might help eh?
I have seen a therapist
they say maybe you should too
get educated a little?
you say you don’t need any help

joy has been gone too long too long

this circle is vicious