Alone at last

it’s a sore feeling
in a life lived

when you have seen your kin
suffer and die slowly
one by one
fogged by the killers of pain
and you have perhaps distanced yourself
from it, at the bitter end
because of the shame of helplessness
not knowing what to say
what to do
how to support others
what you will do
when your Mom, Dad, brother, sister, spouse, child
is gone
this clumsy desperation
this unworthiness

then you feel your own time coming
sore of mind and body
you make the hard choices
feel your pain, ride with your pain
or let them put you into the fog too
the chemical death of the spirit

You begin to see the cycle come full circle
others, even close ones, want to look away
denial in their eyes
you do not want them to feel
that helplessness, desperation, unworthiness
you love them, and do not want them to feel
the way you once felt

you say go home
go home to your families
do not stay here
go home with my blessing
and, let me go home too.

7 thoughts on “Alone at last

Add yours

  1. Dear Lee dont be so hard on yourself. We all do the best we can at the time.. that said just to acknowledge this is a big step, we dont always make the best choices or respond as well as we would have wished.. life is so tough and aging is sad in mant ways especially as losses mount up. Hugs xo

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: