i tella you one a’ stoopit ting
you nevva wanna do
and dat’s forget the valentines
and her 60 birthday too

and dat weddin’ anniversary
was forty one or forty two?
i always gotta scratcha ma head
if it’s all the same to you

and when she gimme grocery list
and send me to the store
i need a damn interpreter
’cause i never can be sure

she calla me on the telephone
says ‘pick up thirty more
the sale she ends on Saturday
we only got forty four’

‘hey- who’s a’ dat girl you talkin’ to
you better watcha you mouth
or I’ll be packin’ all a’ my bags
and headin’ for the south’

but now she has forgiven me
I’m such a handsome guy
i tell her she will never ever
catcha me in a lie

i buy us tickets to a show
and take her to a dance
she fixes makeup and her hair
and puts me in a trance

but i tella you one more stoopit ting
it doesn’t make no sense
dat hundred dolla perfume
don’t mix with flatulence!