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Redneck Christmas

It used to be a running joke around our house that anybody who left their Christmas lights up all year had to be a redneck because they were just too lazy to take them down.

Well, now I am of that species too, I guess. It’s been a few years since I’ve had the courage or the balance to do ladders. Our lights are permanently affixed to the eavestroughs, so they stay up 24 seven 365 days year. The problem that developed this past winter was that the plug-in for those lights became encased in a big knob of ice and then covered in about six inches of snow. So, every time I turn our porch lights on at night, our house is illuminated as well with the nice green Christmas lights. We are the only ones on our street to have Christmas in April. My wife is somewhat embarrassed by this and does occasionally remind me that I need to get up that ladder, take a hammer to the damn ice, and pull the plug please and thank you.

I don’t know. I think it looks kind of nice. I think I’ll hire somebody to do it when spring time actually arrives.

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Lee Dunn View All

Lee Dunn has been writing since the age of 18, but found that work got in the way for the ensuing 48 years. In his home town of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, he reveled in his independence at an early age, and spent as much time as he could exploring the city’s Arts scene. He was introduced to poetry and prose by the works of two literary giants, namely J.R.R. Tolkien and J.W. Lennon and thence fell in love with the written word. His work includes poetry, short fiction, and personal essays, and ranges in theme from the surreal to the horrific, nostalgic, and themes on the human condition. He has been published on Spillwords.com, The Dark Poets Club, Journal of Undiscovered Poets, Crepe & Penn Literary magazine, and the Shelburne Free Press.

5 thoughts on “Redneck Christmas Leave a comment

  1. Hahaha. This is so funny! We don’t use the term redneck here, but I’ve always known what it means. I don’t go in for big decorations – at Christmas or otherwise – so with the absence of kids here, I decided to do away with a tree etc, and purchased a simple string of white fairy lights which I casually draped around the sitting room window. Didn’t read the label properly and was surprised when they flashed and twinkled in sequence (very disco-esque and annoying), but I worked it out and just had a mild twinkle occasionally. Came the 12th night and time to take them down and I just didn’t. I switched the plug off at the wall and there they stay. Nobody outside can see them because they’re hidden by the curtains, but I am reminded daily of what a lazy-arse I am. I am tempted to put them on though – who cares what the neighbours think?

    Liked by 1 person

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