I’ve been in this bed for too long.
Please don’t let me go like Charlie.
My friend Charlie.
He got bad cancer and was in a bed for months.
I made the visits when I could,
bringing his favorite contraband.
His chewing tobacco and a couple cans of Molson’s
in a cold pack.
Charlie started getting these bad sores in different places.
They put on bandages, but the bandages made it worse.
He got a little more sad, each time I came.
At last, I stopped coming.
Crying a lot. Coward. You coward.
I have no cancer, unless it be of the spirit.
I think I am like all of us.
We so need the human touch, the warmth and need of another.
And I do not know, really, why this bed has become such a refuge.
A refuge from what? Human touch and warmth?
How will I become worthy of these things, and of the whole of love?
Get me up, dammit, I must get up.
As I lie staring, motionless, I feel I am effervescing.
Particles of me drifting upwards, like motes of light.
Soon I will be gone, like Charlie.
But, for now, I spread my arms and legs on these neat white sheets.
And all that will be left, when they come, is a snow angel.
Aremyfeetofftheground 
Get up, leave that bed and find solace in someone’s company, only then you’ll feel more alive.
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I agree, very moving
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“He got a little more sad, each time I came.
At last, I stopped coming.
Crying a lot. Coward. You coward.”
I’m not a spiritual person, but I hope he knows you wrote this.
Love the honesty.
❤
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Wow. Great post, lee!
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Thank you so much!
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Hello Lee! I saw you comment on Eric from My Sword and Shield and had to check you out! This is the first piece of yours that I found…. It resonates so deeply with me the way it’s written… I am a cancer survivor and my bed served as my refuge for so long during treatment. I think it was because if I laid there long enough I would feel my OWN warmth, which was what I had to depend on so many times while I was ill. Even after I started feeling better and even today sometimes (I am about two years out) I fight the urge to protect myself from others… I think the bed is refuge from human interaction… for me anyways… my trust issues run deep.
anyways, thank you for making me think this morning with this awesome piece. I will be checking in more often!!! ❤️
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Thanks so much for your comments, Domonique.
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Very moving, Lee.
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